Linda's Meta-learning Journal

I am curled up in a ball on the floor banging hard with my fists. I know that if I get up I will hurt her really badly and I don't want that to happen. If I touch her I might not be able to stop until she is dead. My rage fills the whole world, everything has shrunk to this small area of floor that I can see my fist smashing into. Beside me I hear a voice. Someone is kneeling down next to me, not too close, but near enough for me to know they are there. From a long way off I hear
"Do you need some help there Mrs T?"
"Yes, please Mrs H."
There is someone kneeling on the other side of me too , and the classroom is empty now.
"Can you get up J or do you need some help?"
"I am going to kill her" I hear my voice. It sounds strange and distant, like it belongs to someone else.
There are firm hands on each of my elbows. Mrs T and Mrs H have moved really close to me now. It feels safe. Slowly I find myself moving onto my knees.
"Come on J you are doing really well. Up on to your feet next."
And so I am... not really sure how I got here. Now I am walking with Mrs H, she's put her arm round my shoulder and is holding my elbow. She's holding me close. I feel odd, numb now, nearly crying.
"Mrs B, J needs to stay here for a little while. I'll just be round the corner if you need me J."
Now I am in Mrs B's room on the big cushions. I feel sleepy and I have a dry mouth. I'm going to stay here till I feel better. My hands are sore.
Team Teach positive handling course