Entry: Real? 11/29/2005



I thought the best thing to to with my lack of evidence for my pilot exhibition might be to try a reflection. I used the idea of a reflective splurge a lot in year 1 and 2 of the degree and I thought it might give me some insight. It didn't help much, no Aha moments. So not the right thing to do perhaps. I'm still convinced that some sort of creative expression might help but at the moment I'm too tired to be creative and the deadline for the module is only 10 days away. As things stand at the moment I'm seriously considering a photo of my empty pigeon hole and a reflective hiaku. Hal once said he'd always wondered if someone might submit 4 photos (it would need to be 6 this time of course).
Someone says it happened because I am in the real world and it's all part of the experience. I have no idea how to respond to that. Yes, I am in the real world - there is another sort perhaps???? The unreal fantasy one the writers of our modules inhabit, for example?
Richard's comment is kind and tries to reassure me but I haven't time to watch and wait for a slow burn, I have a deadline looming. I'm afraid the whole pilot thing has been totally forgotten in the madness that is a primary school in December. It's a flurry of costumes, cards, callendars, rehearsals, DT projects to be finished, and in the middle of all this packing stuff up to move into temp classrooms after Christmas.
Viv - what can I say? It's scary and I'm afraid I can't say anything reassuring except not everyone has had this problem. Maybe you'll be fine.

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