Entry: Assume good intent? 7/9/2004



I find it so hard sometimes to keep to this mantra. I try not to assume bad intent, which is not quite the same thing.
First of all this is not just about one posting or any one person. A scenario:
Someone posts to a community in good faith trying honestly to be helpful or to state their opinion on an issue. They state and make it clear that they are explaining how thing appear from their point of view

A person in authority then takes it upon themselves not to just disagree but to imply the original poster is either not posting in good faith or is just in some way incompetent. The posting they make says that the first person's view is invalid, that they have no right to express it. That it is just not true, factually inaccurate.
How does the original poster respond?
Taking advice from the discussions with Nancy White in the Hotseat

  • Read it in a variety of tones including a comedy voice (Donald Duck, Basil Brush etc)
  • If not laughing yet turn off computer and do something else.
    OK so this is good advice. It is possible that some people's writing style just gets under your skin, rings your bells, maybe yours does that to the other person. However, not responding is not going to change the way this person reacts. They will just carry on reacting in this way if unchallenged and you will go on being upset by their responses. Not only that but other people may be discouraged from posting in case the same thing happens to them.
    So what are the other options?
  • Write a reply that explains that you were posting in good faith and further explains your position. Risky as you may over-react and make things worse. Misunderstandings can then multiply
  • Write a reply that restates the other person's position and asks for clarification if one has understood what is being said. Might be worthwhile for a major debate but seems too much for something more trivial.
  • Write a reply and put it in your unsent messages file for a short time then look at it again. Do this too often and you end up not posting anything and lose confidence.
  • Write a reply and check with a fellow researcher if it is OK. People are busy, may not have time, or just not want to get involved.
    So where does the original poster go from here?

    		•
       2 comments

    Eve
    July 28, 2004   10:58 PM PDT
     
    "just in some way incompetent. " has happened to me - my response was to ask why they said what they said - deafening silence!

    So - I'm still not sure what I said wrong - if indeed I did in the first place.

    Not sure where this fits in with your listings!
    Shirley
    July 14, 2004   09:31 PM PDT
     
    Hi Linda, sometimes I find its such a huge challenge that just assuming good intent isn't enough. A bit like ordinary conversations which can also turn chilly, then there's nothing to do except walk away and come back to the subject with a cool head if the subject is worth revisiting. I hope you're OK now.

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